Update On Life
April 2024 (419 Words, 3 Minutes)
It’s been a while since I last posted anything new on this site and I thought it would be nice to give a small update on what’s up. I was starting to burn out a little while before my last post and forcing myself to write it didn’t make it any better. Luckily it was nearing Christmas and so it was easier for me to forget about everything and to just enjoy spending time with family. I would say I got over it in about a month which is pretty fast when compared with my previous burnouts. A big turning point was definitely New Year’s Eve, I always thought that I was a really introverted person but I got proven wrong, might have been the alcohol, but it changed something in my mind nevertheless. I started going out with my friends more and my social life was getting better.
Sadly, my mental health took a big toll on me. Seeing my friends happy with their partners was really challenging for me. At around that time winter holiday was also ending and most of my friends had to go back to their dorms. I started to look for ways to cope with this and found refuge in crossdressing. Everytime I crossdressed I just forgot about everything and became a whole different person. Music was also a big part of coping with life, I started to listen to more genres and made my own playlists for the first time. I finally had something to look forward to when coming home from school.
When that stopped working for me I started to take the whole crossdressing thing more lightly, I stopped shaving my legs and arms, wearing my feminine clothes less but also taking care of myself less. At my lowest I actually took good care of myself, started treating my acne, brushing my teeth more frequently and just trying to focus on the small things. But as april turned and it became more sunny and hot I started going out again, there wasn’t a weekend where I would get home before midnight and I really wasn’t capable of doing all of that. Thankfully that didn’t last very long and I soon stopped drinking in large and I tried to care about myself more. I still meet with my friends but we no longer spend the whole weekend drinking and just try to make the most out of the limited time we have.
It’s turning may soon and it has cooled down again going from a nice 25°C to freezing. I don’t go out as much as I did and I picked up crossdressing again. School also decided to make my life trash and banned using phones on breaks. Made a petition for them to rethink it, garnered 80+ signatures and got rejected. The whole thing still fascinates me as our school switched from using standart paper gradebooks to an online system few years ago and now I cannot check my grades when I’m at school. I can also no longer chat with any of my friends, read the news or use my phone for studying. As I expected, most school staff got bored of checking if students obey this rule and so it’s more of an inconvenience now.
Not counting my toxic classmates I think I’m doing pretty well nowdays, my grades are slowly getting better, I learned how to politely tell teachers to go to hell and in a few months this will all end since I’m finally going to high school. Hopefully people there won’t be toxic as here.